From Dusk til Dawn

As part of a fundraiser for Sam's Conductive Education camp, Boost Camp, we won a trip to a local casino "resort." Actually, all they have on site are a restaurant, hotel and casino. In case you did not know, Indian casinos allow smoking. When one enters this place, one is instantly infused with cigarette smoke. The lights and sounds and people out of their bodies create this terrifying miasma of hell.

Originally we were going to bring Sam. Thank goddess we did not. We looked around (as tourists on a different planet). Checked in to a non-smoking room three floors above and to the left of the casino. Within twenty minutes in the room, we felt the constant inundation of smoke and out of body negativity and checked out.

Now I wonder, how much like this is Las Vegas? I know many people go on family vacations there. Is it like this strange vampiric experience? We had the feeling that if we stayed, we would have lost our souls or at least been possessed. whew.

Saturn, Mars and Pluto mix it up with my Sun and Ascendant

So, for those who have forgotten their astro -jargon, the Ascendant represents our persona, the face we show the world, how we step into things. The Sun is our Self. Mars, in days gone by, was called the lesser malefic. With reason. Saturn, the greater malefic. Pluto, by extrapolation is right up there in the Malefic scene, if you ask me. Here goes Mars, continuing to give me heck, making a trine (ease of action) to my Ascendant; Saturn retrograde (frustration, in Libra, retarding beauty and fairness) sextile my Ascendant and Sun; Pluto inconjuct my Sun, sextile my natal Mars. Mars can rule vision, the head and face. I have spent two weeks with the world's bitch of a facial rash and itching eyes from what--natural face cream (Libra thwarted, Venus in Pisces along with Uranus and Jupiter.) Maybe it is better not to know. If I did not know astrology, would I not feel obligated to embody it? Would it happen anyway? Impatience and crabbiness rules while I am under siege from the bloody malefics. Let this be a lesson to you astrology students: Trines CAN be worse than squares. They are quick, see. Where squares prod, trines just slip you right into your experience.

Saturn and Mars Retrograde

Ok, maybe everybody does not get severely depressed when Saturn and Mars retrogade together, in sextile. Maybe not everone feels like they are peddling fast to nowhere with no hope of moving forward. Or perhaps it is only the Leos and Libras in the bunch. After all, Jupiter and Venus are conjunct in Pisces--someone out there has to feel good. Don't get me wrong, Spring is springing gorgeously here. Sam and I have been enjoying the sun and breezes.

I just feel that we are getting nowhere. Sam is so caught up in his patterns and he is not sleeping or eating well--this always causes a panic for me. I do not want him to get a g-tube (for feeding for those of you who wonder what it is). But he needs enough food to grow. And with no sleep, plus worry and frustration, I become some sot of hell monster. On that happy note, I must run off to teach a yoga class and then meet with a fellow who wants to learn about IEPs.

Betcha Didn't Know...

No home of a kid with special needs is complete without museum putty, duct tape and industrial strength velcro. Run, don't walk, to the hardware store to get yours now. You'll be glad you did. You will need to attach things to walls, tables and trays so that your kid can reach them from his mobility device or manipulate things without knocking them down.

You can put the museum putty on handles of puzzles or on the end of a stick for picking things up (if you have furry pets, it wont last long, so buy lots). You will also need lots of that velcro, tons of batteries, various bits of foam for padding. Neoprene is fairly necessary also, for bracing and keeping hands on the trike or drumsticks. Never throw away any webbing or strapping, you will use it over and over. Maybe I will put some pics of our crazy house up so you can see what I mean.

Candlemas Eve

Tonight is one of the cross quarter days and Celtic Fire Festivals, Candlemas or Imbolc. It is particularly directed towards celebrating the triple goddess, Brigit; poetry and eloquence; and purification for fertility. Until fairly recently, I have been caught up in trying to stay sane as a parent of a severely disabled child. My spiritual life, as per Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, has been on the back shelf (except for teaching yoga and frequent cries of "Goddess!" and "God help me!"). This year, though, I am bringing it back to the forefront. It started with a wonderful Solstice celebration with some women friends and today moves back into the realm of Toltec Wisdom and Vedic practices.

I am also thinking of the irony of the festival in terms of astrology. Brigid is the bright arrow of Celtic mythology, but Mars, the bright arrow of our sky, is in Leo, a fire sign, appropriate to the day, BUT it is retrograde. Here we have some examples:

Today, Sam's augmentative communication teacher was finally supposed to come over and install Boardmaker on my computer, so I can make his communication boards on demand. She cancelled as she is sick. She is otherwise fantastic and supportive, but these damned retrogrades (Saturn, though happy in Libra, is also retro).

Today, I am supposed to begin my new class, Embodying Ancient Wisdom, Toltec and Yogic wisdom practices. Nobody has registered, even though lots of people have said they want to come. Perhaps the timing is bad, who knows. Blast that Mars retrograde, anyway.

So much for eloquence and healing (Brigid's other sideline).

How an Eclipse Hits Us

The December 31 Lunar Eclipse (at 10 degrees Cancer) fell exactly on my son, Sam's, natal Sun. Because he was born on a full moon, the lunar eclipse also fell exactly opposite his natal moon (10 degrees Capricorn). This particular lunar eclipse was in Saros Cycle 12 North which, to quote Bernadette Brady, heralds sudden "opportunities to accept greater responsibility--often due to some sort of loss."

I am interested to see how this plays out, affecting Sam's Sun in the second house: basic self-view, strong males in his life, his personal resources, what he values. Traditionally, eclipses are associated with letting go and play out over a course of up to 6 months. One looks to where this falls in one's chart. We only feel them strongly if they hit a key point in our natal chart. Eclipses to a personal planet, especially a luminary (sun or moon) or key angle (ascendant, descendant, nadir or midheaven) have a tremendously transformational effect.

For Sam, I hope simply be growing up, letting go of baby things and maturing emotionally. Perhaps to use this energy to its best effect, we must ask him to amature, to be more independent, despite the fact that he almost cannot use his hands and can barely speak. If forced to it, he may become more able to play alone and find his own strength. That's my hope.

This eclipse could refer to any other number of more intense changes or loss--although cutting off some of Sam's comfort and ease is no walk in the park. This eclipse fell in my eight house--(shared resources, sex, death) and made aspects to my natal 4th house Saturn and 9th Venus. But not super-tight aspects. Well, ok, 2 to 3 degrees, but not exact. And it hits my husband's natal moon, aspects his natal Venus.

Hey, I am not nervous. Nope, not worrying about potential loss in my child's, my husband's and my life causing us to take on more responsibilities in these areas. Oh, I am so relaxed. yup.

A Great Christmas

Sam has a new adapted trike that he loves and could not get enough of this morning...AND momma Santa has given Sam and his Dad a set of foam swords for working out those frustrations. He also likes that, but most fun has been revisiting a Thomas the Train set which a neighbor gave us a few years back. In fact, here it is almost 1 PM and he hasn't opened three of his gifts because he has been having so much fun. Ah Christmas, before greed takes hold.

This year, Sam has made great advances in his understanding of Christmas. He went to a Christmas show about the Troll King trying to steal Christmas by kidnapping Santa. He held Grandma's hand when the scary Troll King was on stage and loved the singing. He loves the Christmas tree and has been pointing out all the neighborhood lights to us. We have watched Emmet Otter's Christmas approximately 500 times. He has been very excited for the past 2 nights and had difficulty staying asleep. We still have to work on the concept of giving. Maybe next year. Merry Christmas