When people meet Sam, they usually say, "He's so happy!" and sometimes, "Is he always this happy?" Mostly parents of young children don't ask the second one. --Only people without kids or whose kids are older and have therefore experienced the merciful opium of time which blocks out memories of temper tantrums, etc., ask about always being happy. Often there is a tone of wonder when people talk about Sam's happiness.
Sam expects people to like him. After all, for the most part, he expects to like them. This expectation of friendliness and fun, creates the happiness which people see when they look at Sam. Expectation of happiness, in general, creates happiness. The opposite is also true.
The other day in my yoga class, one of my students, when asked how he was doing, replied that, as per usual, he was mediocre. The student who had greeted him with, "how are you doing?" said, "Well, I am sure you will feel better after class." The student's reply was along the lines of, "probably not." At the time, I didn't say anything. I simply thought about the people in my life who are and are not (to my perception) happy.
Many who are not have the expectation that somebody (the man, PG&E, the Republicans, their parents, the FBI, the New World Order, global warming, the devil, you name it) is trying to do them down.
Many who are happy notice and appreciate the little things (the birds, walking into town, their affectionate family members or pets, water, fresh air, delicious food, a good book) and allow themselves to enjoy them. Oh yes, they expect to enjoy their lives, their connections and focus on that. Just noticing.
Expect to hear more about this in class. See you on the mat.
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Things always happen that can give you good cause to be happy or not.
ReplyDeleteThere is I have found though room to decide to be happy, well maybe not happy because that kind of implies ignorance or obliviousness.
But I think there is opportunities to feel joy and enjoy one's life even if everything isn't perfect. Which sadly enough for me, it never is.
Maybe I just repeated your thoughts less elloquently. If so, I'm sorry.
As you may know, I lost my mom last year. The beginning of the end was over Whole Earth Festival weekend... on Mother's Day, before I got to my parents' house, she fell and broke her leg.
ReplyDeleteIt was miserable. The hospital, her drugs, my dad's guilt and sadness... and of course things got worse until she died, and after that things were still pretty crappy for another couple of weeks.
But... there was joy to be found. The kind nurses who cared for my mom, my dad's dog leaping in joy to see me, the flowers blooming in my mom's garden... at every turn, in every black moment, there was some bright spot or kind word that helped me over the current hump. It would just appear right as I was about to lose it, and I had to start wondering... was it coincidence, serendipity? My subconscious alighting on something that was always there but had overlooked? Self-survival? I don't know, but man oh man was I glad it was there.
Two other dear friends have lost their mothers this year, and I've passed on that advice: look for the little beacon, the just-in-time gift from the universe, when you are just at the end of your little rope. It's always there, somewhere...
I'm starting now to look even when I'm not totally strung out, and guess what? Those little blessings are indeed scattered thick all around me! I'm learning more about them every day, sharing them with others who are so desperate for an infusion of blessed joy... some who look at me askance: who the HELL do you think you are, Little Miss Sunshine? and some who drink it in as if pouring water down parched throats.
For a long time, my mental self goal was to seek joy. Perhaps it's time to change that to accept joy...